If you are a parent, and both you and your kid is alive, well done! Now the government may not call you an essential worker, we do! From homeschooling kids, being with them 24/7, to trying to keep them happy throughout this miserable year, you’ve had a lot to do it! But all of these parenting troubles inspired parents to write some hilarious tweets. Kids may say the darnedest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So here are the 30 funniest parenting tweets of 2020, that deserve a round of applause!
1.
I told my daughter to grab her mask so we can go to the store. This was the mask she grabbed. pic.twitter.com/JQdRZltCSv
— Maintaining ✨ (@SunsetSoFresh) November 22, 2020
2.
Thoughts and prayers for my son who thought it would be funny to tell me “I’ll get to it when I get to it, woman”
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) June 10, 2020
3.
My son lost his tooth yesterday and I go to his room last night to grab the tooth in exchange for some $$$… And this is the message he wrote… 😒😒😒 with full on instructions 🤦🏾♂️🙄🤣 pic.twitter.com/jiMm5y9UF9
— Chef Lauren (@ChefLaurenW) July 2, 2020
4.
My 2 year old and 4 year old have been communicating via walkie talkie for twenty minutes. They're in the same room. The walkie talkies have no batteries. Over.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 3, 2020
5.
Lost my temper with my daughter because she wouldn't get dressed, and told her she couldn't come downstairs until she'd changed out of her pyjamas. She's just changed into ANOTHER PAIR OF PYJAMAS.
— Dara O'Reilly (@Dara_bhur_gCara) May 17, 2020
6.
me: *turns to face son in the back seat* you have until sunday to get your shit together boy pic.twitter.com/xglXSlRUL4
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) October 7, 2020
7.
If I learned just one thing as a parent, it’s that by the 3rd kid they can be juggling samurai swords and hand grenades and you won’t care as long as they’re doing it quietly.
— bacon popsicle 🦒 (@Gupton68) October 18, 2020
8.
Took my kids to the pediatrician yesterday and I told her we’ve barely left the house in 5 months and then she looked at me in all seriousness and asked how much screen time they were getting. I mean… c’mon, lady, read. the. room.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) August 15, 2020
9.
*5 yo on her kindergarten Zoom class*
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) September 3, 2020
Teacher: "So what do you do before joining our Zoom class?"
5yo: "My mommy hits me and says 'do good!"
Me, no make-up, bagel crumbs on my face, unexpectedly joining the Zoom class: "SHE MEANS I HIGH FIVE HER HAND!!!"
10.
Me: (on toilet) Sweety, mommy needs privacy when she pees
— Kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) August 27, 2020
3: ok (closes door and stands next to me with the dog)
Me:
3: we private now
11.
My son has a Thomas the Train bed and now I’ll never sleep again pic.twitter.com/ilvjY4LERs
— Nathan Thomas (@isosmrt) July 18, 2020
12.
Every time I tell my daughter I love her, she responds with, “I love daddy,” which is toddler speak for go fuck yourself, mama. Hashtag blessed.
— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) August 29, 2020
13.
My 5-year-old asked me what a poop hole does. After an impromptu lesson on the digestive system, I realized he actually said “pupil.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 26, 2020
Next lesson: Enunciation
14.
My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) July 3, 2020
15.
My son who has just learned how babies are made looked at me and my husband then at his two brothers and said ‘you guys had three sexes right’ so sometimes having kids is kind of alright
— Vision Bored🎄 (@VisionBored1) July 3, 2020
16.
My 8 year old daughter just yelled “Oh no the toilet is smoking!!” My wife and I ran to the bathroom to find this. It’s just day 4 of home school. pic.twitter.com/tG92vJPOtR
— Matthew Berry (@MatthewBerryTMR) March 19, 2020
17.
Quarantine without kids = staycation Quarantine with kids = hostage situation
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) March 15, 2020
18.
Isolation’s going well pic.twitter.com/XqY58BC8aC
— Clare 🍀💚🍀 (@clare_doc) March 19, 2020
19.
Y’all my daughter asked why we grow hair on our private parts and I was like “idk baby that’s a good question” & she sits on my bed dead serious & goes “maybe it was just God adding little details” 🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
— Steeze Urkel (@D0llywood) May 17, 2020
20.
Kid in my son’s class explained to me that she was sure he has two moms because he has “the pretty mom and the other mom.” She described each to me in some detail.
— Aubrey Hirsch (@aubreyhirsch) February 9, 2020
Reader, both are me.
21.
My kid asked if that lady is tiny. pic.twitter.com/Lm6ytjhV9P
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 4, 2019
22.
Our homeschooling curriculum includes: Honors Laundry and AP Vaccumming.
— Jen (@TheNextMartha) March 16, 2020
23.
Why is my son sleeping on the floor like this? LMFAO pic.twitter.com/JYe0tBeQN7
— CHE GUEVARA (@LivKristen) June 16, 2020
24.
My kid wrote a song called,
— Lisa Shmeesa 🦎🦎🦎 (@LisaRieffel) May 2, 2020
“I Wonder What’s Inside your Butthole” Quite honestly, it slaps. pic.twitter.com/A65m6XeZ2r
25.
5-year-old: Do I have to fall in love someday?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 7, 2020
Me: No.
5: Good. I have stuff to do.
26.
my daughter is making a convincing argument that egg should be spelled “eg” and that the second “g” should only be used to describe really big eggs
— ∞ + 1 (@stuckinaportal) November 22, 2020
27.
My son asked me
— Zack Riley 🇦🇺 (@ColdHeart_Prj) January 2, 2020
"Where does poo come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation.
He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
28.
my four year old mispronounces curse words which is cute and not at all horrifying when she yells “bammit!!” and “cheese crisis!!!”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 29, 2020
29.
I've started telling my kids "if I find it, I get to keep it" when they ask me to look for stuff, and it's miraculous how fast they find things on their own after that
— QuaranTWIN Dad (@DadisGrumpy) December 1, 2020
30.
2020 brings a whole new meaning to that part in It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas that goes "and Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again."
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 30, 2020
This made you laugh really hard?
Also see : 20 Times Kids Were So Hilarious We Can’t Stop Laughing